Stortford Nicks vs Old Chigs
If preparation was everything, then there would be no stopping us!
Simon had left Mark a deeply apologetic voicemail on Tuesday night..."I'm late out of work, it's 7:15, I'm leaving now....but I WILL be there!", he then braved the London traffic to make it to Old Chigs to play and support his beloved Team, "The Stortford Nicks". Only, as he watched on, he started to think...."he doesn't play for us.....nor does he, in fact, who the hell are they?". Of course, turning up a day early would have put the fear of God into any other team...'cos we were obviously "casing the opposition", you know......to get any advantage we could! Ahem?
So, the NEXT day....we ALL arrived in good time and by all accounts, were pretty positive and fired up. First up we had (world number 24,971) Simon McNeil on one court and Jake Byrne (Ladies Open Champion 1987) on the other. It looked like being a barn stormer. Both ties saw their first games go to set two, only for the Old Chigs players to take the games. If anyone has ever played at Old Chigs they'll know of their infamous, slow, wet, dark courts and this it would appear, was going to be a problem for us.
In no time at all and although playing very well, Simon was losing the battle, going 2-0 down, while on court 1, Jake was getting rattled and joined Simon. Jake fought hard and pulled a game back, while Simon found the bizarre court 2 getting the better of him, struggling to find a consistant length, whilst desperately trying to keep the ball of off that dreaded left wall, which, if touched, removed evey ounce of pace from the ball. Both players eventually lost their ties, 1-3 for Jake and 0-3 for Simon (though that score really doesn't reflect the standard of the play) so I'm sure he'll be unhappy about the impact that'll have on he world ranking!
Up next was Mark (Hop-a-long) Mallison, hoping (or should that be Hopping?) to secure his place in the world's first paralympics Squash tournaments in 2016. He was feeling fit and confident and he blazed (well, limped) onto court, stole the service and the next two rallies to take a 2-0 points lead..........then lost the plot completely and never got back into the game! 2-9. The second game was different though and tossing his crutches aside, he gave South African Brett a run for his Rands, pushing him to 7-7, but still failing to seal the deal. 7-9. The 3rd was pretty much the same, not helped by his inherant ability to give up on a shot when he thought the lob was too high, then to see it drop in beautifully, only for Bret to drop it out of Mark's reach. 6-9. "Could do better" as his Geography teacher used to say! 0-3.
So the match was lost, at 0-3 so far, only the dead rubber left to play. Up next and without his trademark guitar, was Skipper's Son, James Morris(son.....geddit....??) As usual, he played as if his life depended on it. I didn't get see much of his match, as I was busy finding excuses to lose on court with Brett, but what I did see, showed how well our junior contingent are coming on. His opponent dug in and played excellent lengths and widths, but James was having none of it! Swapping games and rallies like there was no tomorrow (see Simon Mc Neil for clarification on fixture days) James' retrievals were stunning. Alas, his energy reserves were sapped. You could see that although he is but a "young 'un", he was knackered. He lost 2-3 in the end, but it was a great match.
Last but not least, was our very own "Steve "O" Howe. His years of experience in "Jackass the Movie" (1 & 2) would come back to haunt him tonight, as not only had his various "Stunts" left with a variety of disabilities (left handed, half blind and ginger.......sorry Steve ;-), but his opponent was none other than Jangu. A wall of a man, with the wing span of an albertross. Nothing seemed to get past him. Lob him, he dropped it. Drive him, he boasted it. Boast him, he drove it. It just wasn't to be and Steve "O" quickly fell to Jangu's precision play. 0-3.
So, could we have won it? Well "yes" actually. It appears that our two junior super stars failed to inform us prior to starting their games that they had in fact both played very long and hard 5 setters earlier that day and so were both shattered before they got on court! A lesson to be learnt there eh?
And if Mark and Simon had just managed 2 or 3 better shots, their matches could easily have gone the other way, too. It seems the moniker of the "Team from Hawaii" is destined to stay with us as we conceded this "five-o" defeat and retreat to lick our wounds.
Revenge will be sweet though!!
Mark
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